Life is changing. And I believe it’s changing because my head is clearing up, and because for the past year I’ve consciously chosen to follow a more spiritual way of living, not just think about it and not just talk about it or read about it, but to follow the steps. Practice tai chi which has guided me to a more mindful way of living. Sit in meditation that calms my mind. Prayer nourishes the spirit. All of these change things. Slowly. But they change.

My life today has caught me unawares. This isn’t where I saw myself. I never would have dreamed myself here. Living alone in the cold and snow with a dog and two cats as my main companionship. And yet I feel whole. Another change. I don’t need someone else to complete me. I’m not an empty half without a mate. Wholeness comes from a whole spirit, from within. It’s not something I can ever get from another person.

The sky here is amazing. Mornings I wake up early, go outside and watch the dawn break open over the high desert. The gleam of morning sun and scintillating colors stop me, teach me silence.