Sometimes an animal just wins you over. When I got to the house in Susanville, two kittens had been left behind by the former tenants. Yellow Kitty and Gray Kitty. They live in the rocks, but little by little have become quite tame. Food tends to do that. Yellow Kitty is a tom cat. He sleeps curled up with me and Radar, the dog. He’s made a home with us. Gray Kitty is a good soul, but hasn’t bonded in the same way.

I’m restless here on the hill. The house is empty and I feel very alone. My companions are animals. I try to do Tai Chi every day, but I still feel anxious. I don’t know what it is, what energy has gotten inside and made me feel so on edge all the time. I’m home, but not at home. I can’t focus. I’m having trouble writing.

I miss my husband.